5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
