part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
