I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
