i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
