once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
