i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
