: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
