Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My bed smells like the plague
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