Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
