hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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