I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
