Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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