Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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