i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
