Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
do herpes really smell.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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