Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
