ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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