"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
