i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
