Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
