the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
