I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
