oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
