you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
