I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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