So drunk its hurt
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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