just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
