His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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