Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
