did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
