i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
