my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
