...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
