Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
