happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
