i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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