I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
