Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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