I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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