Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
