I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
