Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
