I wannas sexs uuuuu
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize