Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
