Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
