So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
