so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
