Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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