I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
