Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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